what makes a man? pt. 1
I might know…
Some of you might have caught the City and Colour reference and if you did I’m pretty sure we’d be fast friends.
This marks the beginning of what I’m calling my trans-manifesto — pun intended. It hasn’t taken me long to realize as a trans man that I have few, very few, representations of myself in media. And for me in particular, being a black trans man, my archetypes are even fewer and further between.
Also, I don’t sleep with men.
I never have and frankly, I don’t plan on it — but for some reason that level of heteronormativity is even more invisible. Most trans men on television are either gay or bisexual. Few are depicted in relationships with women or even dating women. I’m not sure why but I can only guess that the “one dick” rule has something to do with it.
The phenomenon that requires at least one “cis” dick in the room during sex for said sex to be deemed worthy of the silver screen. It’s sad really. But people just don’t seem to know what to do with vulvas during sexual intercourse, and if we must have two — Rachel McAdams or Natalie Portman must be present. Ideally together.
The world doesn’t quite know what to do with me yet. Bearded, brawny, and…dickless.
Honestly, it’s understandable…most of my sexual partners with the best intentions tend to have some trepidation at first. And I think it’s because we just never learned. We placed penises on a pedestal and now we don’t know what to do with anything else, which is really quite unfortunate considering the boundless pleasure available to us.
That said, I’m answering the call to provide guilt-free information to anyone who finds themselves intrigued, fascinated by, and/or infatuated with the trans-male experience. Whether you are a trans-masculine person, love a trans-masculine person, or just want to be a bit more informed in the event you find a trans man in your bed — this blog is for you.
Caveat: I am just one trans man, so I can’t speak for the whole community and recommend you seek out many sources and stories to really get a complete picture of our beautiful and diverse community.
